Social media is toxic!
Social media is toxic!
Bet you didn’t expect me to say that, right? I mean, I created an entire business centered around digital marketing, and social media happens to be one of my most popular services. Isn’t it kind of backwards to call it toxic? Shouldn’t I be encouraging people to use it? I see the irony.
Because of the career I have made for myself, I have no choice but to spend an excessive amount of time on the internet, and I long-ago earned myself the diagnosis of “chronically online.” Needing to use the likes of TikTok and Instagram to perform research for myself and for my clients makes it nearly impossible to not get sucked into hours of unproductive doomscrolling.
So how, as someone who works in social media and has no choice but to be online, do I protect both my time management and my mental health? The answer is simple: separation of church and state.
The more that my professional social media use and my personal social media use overlap, the less content I seem to feel with my life. Why is that?
Let’s take a walk.
Social media tells you it’s never too early to start preventing the effects of aging. It tells you that wrinkles are bad and that you need to get this specific product and follow this specific routine if you don’t want them. It encourages you to inject substances into your face because looking younger longer is better than looking like yourself forever. Social media does not tell you that your skin is pretty; it does not tell you that aging is beautiful. Instead, it tells you that even though you’re only 23, this is a problem in your life that you need to address now. It tells you that there is something wrong with the way your face will naturally change as you get older, and the only thing that will fix it is the product they are selling.
Social media tells you that there is a new trending body type every year. It tells you that while your body type may have fit the beauty standard a few years ago, it doesn’t anymore. It says that Pilates and sculpt classes are “in,” but then turns around and tells you that those workouts alone won’t be enough; you also need to incorporate weightlifting (but not too much, or you’ll get bulky), and you need to walk 10,000 steps a day. On top of that, social media tells you that you need to follow a specific diet, but can never quite tell you which one. Anti-inflammatory, carnivore, low-carb, no sugar, no natural flavors, and absolutely no seed oils. It says that protein needs to be the priority, then it says that fiber needs to be the priority. It shows you what it eats in a day, followed by body checks in the mirror that feel unattainable. In the same breath, social media tells one woman she’s too big and another she’s too small. In the same breath, social media tells you your body is beautiful the way it is, but it could be even better (but only if you listen to them, and them only). Its words say health is the goal, but its actions say beauty is the goal.
Social media tells you that you need to find your “aesthetic.” Clean or messy. Cool or soft. Minimalistic or edgy. You need to find a box to put yourself in and stay there until it decides that the box is no longer trendy. It tells you exactly how to put yourself into the box: “Run, don’t walk” to get these shoes, this accessory, this wardrobe staple. Social media tells you that once you do this, you’ll be an “it girl,” “cool girl,” “clean girl.” Uniqueness is great…as long as it fits in the box. But also, no matter what box you choose, social media judges you for it. Social media does not tell you to be happy with who you are. It does not tell you to be content and at peace with you life. It tells you to find a brand and become it.
People turning into brands. What a concept. At the end of 2025, social media users everywhere shared their plans for their “2026 rebrand.” At first glance, this may not have seemed like anything crazy. New Year's resolutions have always been a thing, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow as a person and set goals for yourself. However, what was once two or three goals in a few areas of our life has turned into extravagant vision boards and strategic plans meant to create shiny, new versions of ourselves in every way possible.
I want to emphasize something: You are a person, not a brand. Brands need rebranding. People do not.
I am tired of social media offering me solutions to problems that I didn’t know I had. Sure, a lot of the trends and information circulating social media are not bad by themselves, and many of these things genuinely offer a multitude of benefits for the people that actually have a specific problem that needs solving. On the contrary, when you receive the same message hundreds of times in a row - the message that you have a problem that only this post, creator, or product can fix - it is exhausting and overwhelming.
Something I’ve been asking myself a lot lately is, “If social media didn’t exist, would I feel the need to change this thing about myself or my life?” If the answer is yes, then sure - social media is a great place to find helpful information. However, if the answer is no, then I don’t need to change it.
When I know I have a problem that I need solved, when I know that I want to learn more about something, or when I know that there is an area in my life that I want to change, social media is a great tool. Whether it’s simply finding a new sourdough recipe or helping small business owners connect with their audience, social media has helped me out time and time again. No matter who is using it - businesses, influencers, or the every-day person - the purpose of social media has always been to connect, create, and inform.
Just remember: the internet is a tool, not a rulebook. When we make social media our north star, looking to it to tell us how to live out every area of our lives, our insecurities increase and our ability to be at peace takes the fall.
I’ll leave you with this: Working to better yourself is good, but not at the expense of a hyper-fixation on what social media tells you. You are worth more than a fleeting trend. You are worth more than the problems the internet tries to diagnose you with. Embrace the simplicity of life without 24/7 access to the toxicity that social media so easily curates.
